MIRROR.CO.UK REPORTS (COPENHAGEN, DENMARK) – The Eurovision Song Contest is over for another year but it gave us some incredible memories. Conchita Wurst – an Austrian drag queen – won with a boatload of points and made Eurovision fans the world over sob with joy at her victory. Molly may not have won, but she did pull out all the stops and provided an incredible performance, while Sweden’s Sanna Nielsen can finally Undo her own sad (that’s a play on a lyric in case you weren’t paying attention) as her performance was utterly enchanting.
As well as providing his usual brand of witty and slightly snarky commentary, Graham Norton found himself being confronted about his ‘jokes’ with hilarious results, and even Eurovision legend Gina G turned up (in spirit at least) to remind us of a time when everyone was singing about getting a little bit more.
Conchita Wurst serving her bearded Bond girl realness at every opportunity. Obviously. Who else was going to take the top spot in this? Conchita was flawless. Her performance of Rise Like a Phoenix was jaw-dropping and so crowd-pleasing that it was almost drowned out by the huge eruption of cheers for her as she sang. She looked phenomenal, she sang even better and she held 180 million people across the world completely captivated with her entire performance. An Austrian drag queen won the Eurovision Song Contest – that is amazing. It shouldn’t be and maybe in a decade it won’t be, but for now it is.
Graham Norton showered with confetti. Oh Graham. Even all of Europe knows he’s a snarky commentator with his witty put downs (reads to Conchita and co) and so the hosts of this year’s song contest weren’t going to let him get away with it with them. No sir. So during the voting window when Europe was busily voting for Conchita and no-one else, they decided to sneak up on snarky Graham who assumed he was safely ensconced in his little box. Then as a camera man flew into the room, the chat show host was – jokingly – thanked for his comments with a room full of confetti. It was all fun and games until it went into his wine. Uh oh.
Eurovision legend GINA G making an appearance in the hilarious Museum of Eurovision History video. The museum may have had ABBA’s costumes from 1974, an entire Johnny Logan collection – including the two-time champion himself – but the one thing that made the entire thing so brilliant was Gina G. So it may not have been the real Gina G and she may not have actually won the 1996 Eurovision Song Contest but clearly she should have and that was reflected in her appearance. As soon as that song started every single person (possibly an exaggeration) across the world started to sing Ooh Ahh Just a Little Bit. Even you. You know that happened. Oh and monster rockers Lorde made an appearance, but the less said about them the better.
Molly’s bemused face when she was presented with that cake. Molly might not have won but she did get a cake, so at least she can eat her disappointment. In what was possibly the most bizarre moment of the evening the host decided that half time was the right moment to start giving food out to the contestants. France’s TWIN TWIN got a full meal, someone else got something unmemorable and then Molly got a curly whirly cake. Seriously. Maybe Latvia’s Aarzemnieki were so overcome with their love of baking cakes that they went into a little sideline and started producing cakes for the acts that actually went through to the final? The Aarzemnieki Bakery for Fallen Eurovision Acts, perhaps? Seriously though – all cake joking side – Molly put on an amazing show and truly did the UK proud – she ended the show on a high and everyone knows it, even if the votes didn’t reflect that. So the least she deserves is a cake.
Unfortunately Sanna didn’t win, but it didn’t stop her putting on a show that would have won any other year. All that power, all that talent and all that emotion should’ve been a shoe-in. It’s what made her favourite for so long and she did not disappoint in the grand final. Sanna is a seasoned professional and she deserves to be a Eurovision Song Contest champion one year, it just wasn’t this year.
In a competition with a bearded drag queen, a six strong group of Icelandic primary school teachers who wear brightly-coloured suits wherever they go and a man running on a giant hamster wheel, it was going to take something a little extra to steal the spotlight. France’s TWIN TWIN did it. It was – well, there aren’t really any words for it. The song was called Moustache and it was very well received. It was as if the French Jedward had invaded Denmark but mostly it was just amazing. Colourful, overly-energetic and few understood a single word of it but it didn’t matter because it was THAT good. That’s why they ended up bottom. Well done France!
Conchita’s emotion every time she was awarded points. Look, it’s not great that Molly didn’t win for us but who could begrudge Conchita her victory when it clearly meant that much to her? Every point meant the world to her – especially after all the homophobic petitions and negativity thrown at her over the course of the competition – and her reaction really was her being accepted by Europe. Strip away all the awesome Conchita and there was just a drag queen asking for acceptance – and she got it. Which really just makes Eurovision worth it, right? See you next year in Austria.