IRELAND – Following Nicky Byrne’s exit from the semi-final stage of the Eurovision, Johnny Logan has confirmed that he would be happy to represent Ireland again at the Eurovision in case anyone was wondering. Logan, speaking from a megaphone outside RTÉ offices at the location where management chooses Ireland’s entries for the singing competition, explained his willingness to throw his hat into the ring with a convincing display of begging.
“I can still do it. Don’t use those fucking twins again. Johnny’s still got it baby,” the singer gently pleaded by screaming at the top of his lungs while on his knees. “Sunshine? 3 minutes of singing about bloody sunshine, from a country where it rains the year round. Johnny won’t do that to you Ireland, Johnny’s gonna sing about love and Europe are going to eat it up,” Logan, dressed head to toe in leather added while being ushered off RTÉ property by security guards.
The three time winner of the Eurovision then stripped down to his underwear to reveal a large ‘Mr. Eurovision’ tattoo on his chest. A supergroup made up of U2, Van Morrison, Sinead O’Connor and Hosier are favourites to represent Ireland next year in a bid to end years of Eurovision failure. The Eurovision remains immensely popular with the European television viewing public, despite being wholly devoid of merit.